Overheard at Backstory #2
Scurrilous dispatches from the shopfloor
EASTER HOURS: We’re open today and Monday as usual (10am-6pm), but closed on Easter Sunday. Happy Easter!
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND/INFAMY, here’s the second in an occasional series of overheards, morsels, strange-but-true statistics and generally juicy titbits from the shopfloor and book world.
COST OF LIVING LATEST: Newcomers to the shop sometimes struggle with the idea that Backstory is a bar as well as a bookshop. This radical concept means customers can, in fact, purchase a drink instead of a book. Sometimes they do both. After explaining this to two baffled young men, Denise confused matters further by telling them that on occasion people even come in to write their own books. “I suppose,” reasoned one, “it’s cheaper than buying a book, to write your own.”
SPECIAL DELIVERY: Backstory has two posties. One is charming. The other is, well, charming in his own special way. For some reason, he has decided that our preferred abbreviation for the shop is… BS. On a recent Saturday, he yelled across a packed bookshop: “NOTHING FOR BS!”
PUTTING THE CAMP IN CAMPING: Two young women propping up the bar, two rosé spritzers in. One to the other: “Oh my god, how have you not heard of it? IT’S THE GAY GLASTONBURY.”
IMMATURE CORNER: I can’t be the only person who giggles when people have names that suit their careers all too well. Les McBurney the firefighter, Lord Brain the neuroscientist, Dr Docktor the doctor, and the president of the Royal Horticultural Society: Keith Weed. The phenomenon is so common it has its own name: nominative determinism. So forgive me for chuckling when Denise passed me the following note, with no comment: “Pls call Jim Pipes re dishwasher.”
BOOK FAILS AND #FAIL BOOKS: Backstory sales of books by Tories from the last parliament: Liz Truss (0), Nadine Dorries (1), Theresa May (1), Boris Johnson (2), Simon Hart (3). Backstory sales of How They Broke Britain: 96. Backstory sales of How Westminster Works… and Why It Doesn’t by
: 100.HOLLYWOOD BECKONS: One of our regulars announced that she has a TV idea and asked loudly if anyone knew a TV producer. Another customer piped up: “I know Idris Elba.” The path to fame and glory runs down Balham High Road.
COURT OF LAST RESORT: Denise was asked to adjudicate between customers rowing as to which of dragon porn lit and cowboy porn lit is “better”. Answers on a (seaside) postcard.
CRYING OVER MILK: Forgive me for the bemused, perhaps even impatient, look I gave a customer who asked, after I’d just frothed about 40 coffees, “Excuse me, do you have hot milk?” Blushes all round when it turned out he was after the excellent Deborah Levy book of the same name.
CRITICZ CORNER: Our shop email address is books@backstory.london, so spam emails often address us simply as “Books”. Take this delightful missive which arrived last night: “Hello Books is this inbox active for critizism about your store?” No, but this one is. Hit me.
A VERY SOCIAL BOOKSHOP: Our loo is in the office downstairs, so we sometimes ask customers to queue upstairs if it’s already occupied. In a moment of madness I recently told a customer: “There’s someone down there already, but you’re welcome to join them.”
BUT NOT THAT SOCIAL: Three young women at the Backstory bar, one to the other two: “My rule is I don’t bring dates here because I love it so much.”
WE’RE GOING TO NEED MORE CHAIRS: A customer perches at the bar, talking through her schedule over the phone. “I’m in a bookshop,” she tells her interlocutor. “I’ve got a meeting at 2. And I’ve got a meeting at 4 – with Canada.”
NOT THE SHORTHAND I WAS TAUGHT: When we have to seat 65 event attendees in half an hour and serve most of them a drink, things can get a little fraught and time is at a premium. Still, I should apologise to Darby for the event where we introduced a special bourbon cocktail. “Naturally,” she reports, “this led to Tom writing ‘cock’ at least 10 times on various sheets of scrap paper.”
HERO CUSTOMER: “I’m going to sit in the window,” says a lovely woman after purchasing her oat flat white. “But it’s just me, so if anyone wants two seats please just let me know.” With manners like that, you can have as many seats as you want.
WALKIES: More eccentric dog-owner behaviour. On a walkabout near the shop I spotted a family strolling along the pavement with their labrador. Between his teeth, the dog was proudly carrying… a golf umbrella.
AND FINALLY: If you’re on Instagram, check out this amazing video of customers at one American bookshop. Anyone want to do our next stock take?
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Want more Backstory?
Look out for these bullet points at the end of the newsletter next week. We have some very exciting June events to unveil. In the meantime, browse our upcoming events including the author of one of The Economist’s books of 2024, How Tyrants Fall, this Wednesday (tickets here, or email me if you want me to record the audio for you)
Request a book to pick up in the shop (we can usually get a book for the next day)
If you’re further afield, order a book from our website
Happy reading (and Happy Easter!),
Tom
Re the ‘hot milk’ faux pas, I was working in an Oxfam bookshop when a customer asked me “where would I find Ann Cleeves?”
I misheard and said “history is in that corner, over there”
She looked at me
I looked at her
“Oh!” I said. “You mean the crime writer. This section over here.”
I do absolutely love these weekly bookshop updates - thank you!